On my journey to self-discovery, honoring my human design proved itself to be invaluable in helping me get to truly know myself.
I have felt different all my life like I was out of step with most of the people around me. My path always looked and felt different from everyone else’s. I never seemed to take the conventional route. I often questioned why I couldn’t just go along with the crowd and do the things everyone else did. I thought it would make my life easier, but when I tried, it never did.
It all makes sense with Human Design
Four years ago, I learned I was a Manifestor, and my life suddenly made sense to me. It was as if all of the pieces of a puzzle suddenly fell into place. Things I knew to be true for me, on an intuitive level, became conscious. Of course, I can’t do things the way most people do. As one of only 9% of the population, I am unique and how I move through life is unlike any other Human Design type. There are nuances to being a Manifestor. By digging deeper into Human Design, I’ve learned to embrace and show up as my true self.
Living my Human Design is a journey of deconditioning from what and who I was told to be, which wasn’t really who I really am. Human Design shows me where I was out of alignment with my Manifestor nature. After my divorce, I took a job that did not allow me to live my Human Design. I worked for a content marketing agency—a typical corporate desk job. The office was an open concept floor plan, or what is commonly known as a bullpen. I could hear every phone conversation and was out in the open for constant observation and monitoring.
The job required me to be at full speed for 8+ hours a day. The use of tracking software monitored the output of my work to ensure I was productive. This isn’t great for anyone’s Human Design, much less my own.
I was answering to and taking direction from my manager, other senior staff, and various clients. I railed against and struggled with this job for months after I started. I was so unhappy and, at the time, could not figure out why this job was just so hard.
Now I know that because I am a Manifestor, without a doubt I am not meant to work a regular 9-to-5 job where I’m responding to and initiating others’ creative urges. I don’t have the same access to energy as most people do. I have the energy, or I don’t; it’s really just that simple. I initiate only 20% of the time, and the rest of the time, I’m resting. My corporate job required a lot of in-the-moment decisions. As a Manifestor with emotional authority, I need time to make decisions. Those decisions need to be made on my own time and in solitude in order to be effective.
Understanding my Human Design and Authority gave me the space to create a life and business that works for me. This understanding allows me to live in harmony and alignment with myself.
Siobhan Nash is a self-discovery coach and soul-connection guide. She created the Allowing Prayers card deck and self-paced programs to help sensitive, empathic women know themselves better. You can learn more about Siobhan and her work on her website and subscribe to her newsletter.